January 31, 2009
Parenting
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I look back on the early years of my parenting and see that amidst the 10 years of non stop nappies, the 5 years of breast feeding, the cooking and cleaning up of over 6,552 meals, the tiring weeks of quarantine when contagious childhood illnesses infected the family, the walking and pacing of 1000’s kilometres when the babies wouldn’t sleep, the mopping up and disinfecting of urine puddles and wet sheets over a 100 times, the continual excitement and animation that I was required to perform when tired and reading the same story 300 times before bed, the functioning on broken sleep for 12 years and saying ‘no’ more than 15,000 times that beyond a doubt I played a significant part in starting a magnificent life. Will you?
At times I experienced heart ache and struggles but within the ups and downs of day to day life my children learnt the meaning of trust and faith, how to accept themselves and what they were capable of doing both physically and emotionally, the unconditional love of others, the greater importance of relationships and experiences rather than material animated things and the beginning awareness of their own conscious state.
I can see that without a doubt my husband and I did make a difference in the development of their self control, increasing independence and self assurance.
We are now seeing them making mostly wise and responsible choices for their lives. During those early years we opened their neural pathways in their developing brain for them to continue building on during their adult years ahead.
I did not see or comprehend what I was embarking on when I was standing where you are today, raising a young family. I was caught up in my own life and my own needs rather than truly realising the impact I had on my developing children.
The journey I have experienced and that you will experience will take you beyond what you know you are capable of today. I hope you will learn, like I learnt, that disciplining wasn’t for my self-gratification but it was to create a responsible human being who was capable of making dependable choices in later years.
It is evident that you cannot earn your child’s trust as a teenager unless they have learnt to develop trust through having a loving relationship with you during their early developing years. This relationship begins at birth and is continually built on through every experience especially in the impressionable first 7 years.
I know you will make or have made a significant difference in their life. The communities in the future will thank you.
By Jan Murray Registered Nurse, Midwife, Family and Child Health Nurse, wife to one and mother of 5.
http://www.settlepetal.com
January 31, 2009
Parenting
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You are a vital person in the life of your child but how often are you left feeling guilty or confused wondering if what you are doing is the wrong thing.
Do you feel you are being judged for the decisions that you make concerning your child?
Let me assure you that you are not alone feeling like that. Many parents have been where you are and have either learnt things the hard way or through the mistakes and learnings of others. When I was a new mum I had people telling me that I should know all about parenting because I was a nurse and a midwife and I had my five children born close together. How that made me knowledgeable about the many facets of parenting is beyond me. It took me many years and much heartache until I felt vaguely confident as a parent. Parenting requires us to be in a constant source of learning to be able to adapt to the many changes that occur in a growing family.
Society today can give us a skewed image of parenting. This is planted in our minds through media and advertising. On one side we are inundated with opportunities and deals to purchase home and baby gadgets, takeaway and pre packaged foods, restaurant dining and lifestyle living with everything big and beautiful while on the other side we see financial pressures, abuse, stress related illness and the incidence of homeless children increasing at an alarming rate.
It is important to set our own internal picture of what family life is really about and what we want for our family’s future to prevent us being swept along by society and media bombardment. Work out the type of parenting style you want for your family then seek out information, mentors and resources that supports your focus. Our community’s future depends on the commitment and valuable input that family life can give to our children.
Over the years in my own family I have learned how to listen and take care of babies, toddlers and preschoolers and today I am discovering the complexities of teenagers. As I look back, I can honestly say that the first 7 years of a child’s life is vital for the development of their character in later years.
Resources to help you can be found here http://www.settlepetal.com
By Jan Murray Registered Nurse, Midwife, Family and Child Health Nurse, wife to one and mother of 5.
January 29, 2009
Baby behaviour, Nutrition, Sleep and Settling
2 Comments
I started having my babies over 20 years ago. Mind you, it doesn’t seem that long ago!
Back then I knew very little about how much sleep babies were supposed to have and I thought they would just fall asleep when they needed to. I was told to just feed them any time they cried as it would settle them down.
I wish I would have known then some of what I know now about routines as it would have made my life a lot easier.
I would like to pass on the knowledge I have learnt over the years both personally and professionally to parents who are just like I was.
One of the things I have done is put together an eBook
of Suggested Routines that cover ages 0-5 years.
Below is an example of the type of routine I have suggested for a
breast fed baby who is 2 - 4 months old.
The other routines are available in my
FREE Routines eBook
Suggested Daily Routine for
Breastfed Babies 2 – 4 Months Old
Babies are individual in their needs. This information is only a guide to help organise your day. At this age, most babies will still feed at 3 hourly intervals during the day.
5 or 6am
Wakes for milk feed
Some babies will play at this time and others will go back to bed
Watch for tired signs
Settle into sleep (approx. 6.30 or 7.30am)
8 or 9am
Milk feed
Age appropriate stimulation
Watch for tired signs
Settle into sleep (approx. 9.30 or 10.30am)
11am or 12noon
Milk feed
Age appropriate stimulation
Watch for tired signs
Settle into sleep (approx. 12.30 or 1.30pm)
2 or 3pm
Milk feed
Age appropriate stimulation
Watch for tired signs
Settle into sleep (approx. 3.30 or 4.30pm)
5 or 6pm
Milk feed
Awake time
Bath
Top up feed
Settle into sleep (approx. 7.30 or 8.30pm)
9.30 or 10.30pm
You may wake them or they may wake for milk feed
Settle back to sleep
Overnight
Low stimulus feed if your baby wakes
January 29, 2009
Parenting
No Comments
Parents with young families lead busy lives today and
it is important that they have enough energy to keep up with the demands.
If you are carrying around extra kilos and making poor
food choices you are making it hard on your self. If this is you
remember, the time when your children are young can be long and difficult or
you can make it easier for everyone by making a few lifestyle changes.
SMALL CHANGES GET BIG RESULTS.
That’s the revolutionary new approach to weight loss you’ll
find in a new book called Lighten Up by Andrew Cate, with
365 ways to lose weight and feel great.
There is a real focus on motivation and proven
strategies for busy people, rather than fads that don’t last.
Just making a few small changes within your lifestyle,
and sticking with them can help you strip body fat,
and boost your energy levels.
And what parent couldn’t do with a little extra energy?
“Lighten Up” is filled with facts, tips and information
to help you lose weight forever.
With a tip for every day of the year,
you can keep focused on important lifestyle goals
such as eating right, exercising to your own level
and maintaining your weight. The advice comes
from a personal trainer who knows all the tricks of
the trade for good health and wellbeing.
PURCHASE your copy HERE
January 29, 2009
Toddler
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How are you coping with your toddler? I know it can be pretty tiring!
Are you finding them challenging at times and
wish you had a better understanding of what was going on
inside their little mind?
I would like to share a bit of what a toddlers life needs as
I believe their total health is vital for our communities future.
I am saddened by the amount of TV and PROCESSED FOOD
that toddlers are consuming. I am sure if parents knew how
bad it was for both their child’s physical and emotional development they would
not be exposing their precious growing children to them.
Toddlers Growth and Development
In a purely physical sense, by the time your toddler is 12 months old,
they should be about triple their birth weight and by 3 years
will have developed 90% of their adult brain.
In addition to physical growth, toddler-hood is a period
during which your child will experience great social,
emotional and cognitive development. The speed of
growth in these areas may depend on the toddler’s position
within the family (only child, older/younger sibling etc) as well
as their exposure to experiences and sensory stimulation
(such as a stressful environment, general involvement in life or travel).
“When children play they approach experiences
with interest, ownership, empowerment and possibility.
If we remove play from children’s lives we remove a possibility for learning”.
Carla Rinaldi.
Your baby is born with 25% of their adult brain and by 3 years they have 90%.
There is a lot of brain being developed during these years;
connections (synapses) between cells (neurons) therefore,
appropriate sensory stimulation is vital. A lack of brain usage
or stimulation leads to fewer synaptic connections and neural
pathways being developed. The ability to learn in the future has a
direct relationship to what you are preparing their brain for in these early years.
Toddlers are concrete thinkers…
For toddlers to be able to understand and talk about things,
they need to physically see, touch and handle them.
It is not until a child is around 7 years old that they
understand the concepts of fantasy, or the difference
between real and make-believe. For this reason, care must
be taken when determining what toddlers watch on TV,
the games they play and the books they read etc.
Try to encourage games and books that have ‘real life’
characters and concepts rather than fantasy.
This is especially important in the hour prior to their bed time,
to minimize the risk of bad dreams and unsettled sleeping patterns.
Even the cutest crocodile in a book could be something totally
different in a toddler’s vivid and developing mind.
Toddlers and Food
Children’s taste in foods change and develop during the toddler years.
Their appetites naturally decline during their second year,
as toddlers do not require as much energy,
due to the rate of their growth slowing down.
Toddlers don’t mind eating the same foods over and over again,
but they should be encouraged to try different types of foods.
It is normal for toddlers to be wary of trying new or unfamiliar foods.
Always have at least one familiar and favourite food choice on the menu.
Parents should never force a toddler to eat their food or to try something new.
Have you noticed that toddlers will usually win this argument anyway?
Getting into battles over food and eating with toddlers only makes life miserable,
and there are a lot of things that are more important and interesting to toddlers
than eating new foods.
It is a parent’s job to provide good nutritious food choices at
appropriate times and it is the toddler’s job to eat them.
If the toddler chooses not to eat the food they will not starve
themselves even if they are hungry until the next meal is offered.
They will learn the effect of what happens when they choose not to eat!
They will experience the feeling of hunger. 20 – 30 minutes is long enough
for a toddler’s meal time. If they haven’t eaten in this time,
presume they don’t want it, get them down and don’t offer
more food until next snack time.
Meals should be served in manageable portions
of finger-food and foods that can be eaten with a spoon.
Toddlers shouldn’t be forced to eat all the food that they are served.
If they can’t finish it or don’t like it, its ok, remember this is the stage
of growing independence. Childhood obesity is a growing concern and
consistent forcing of food consumption can lead to this problem.
Toddlers are more likely to eat their food if it is served in
a happy environment. Why not help them concentrate on
eating by turning the TV off at meal times. Treat meal times
and what you feed them as important not just something to fill in time.
Finally, the most important influence on a toddler’s
eating habits will be the people they eat with.
It is imperative that toddlers see their parents
and friends eating and enjoying healthy food.
Be prepared for the mess at mealtimes - it is all
a part of the experience! Not allowing this natural
process of learning can create fussy feeding issues
in the older preschooler. Set aside 20 – 30 minutes
for meal times and 10 – 20 minutes for snack times.
Toddlers thrive on structure, routines and limits.
This makes them feel more secure in their world.
If you would like to read more about what foods to avoid
and what toys and games are good for your toddlers sensory development then ‘Being a Toddler’ eBook is where you can find it.
You can download it instantly through the link above.
Written by Jan Murray, Registered Nurse, Midwife, Child Health Nurse, wife to one husband and mother of 5.
See more at http://www.settlepetal.com
January 29, 2009
Parenting
No Comments
Does this sound familiar…
Tired, fulltime working mum with a 21 month old
who doesn’t sleep well and no family supports
around.
This is a situation that I see frequently with working
parents of a young family.
I would like to shed some light on how to manage
during these challenging times.
This information was collaborated with a psychologist who also
sees women regularly, who are struggling with their workload .
When deciding what to do to manage your situation
always think about the priorities for your family situation - what is REALLY
important for YOU to do or get done… and leave the rest,
without pressuring yourself to think you have to do it all perfectly well.
I know we mum’s are good at that!
I am in awe of any mum who is
working fulltime and trying to look after children,
particularly with no family support.
Here are a couple of practical useful tips which may help you.
The key strategies being
•Organisation
•Consistency
•Routine
•Ignoring the inappropriate behaviour of toddlers
•Rewarding the positive behaviours and all mixed in with lots of love - you can’t go wrong!
1. Firstly, you all need to get a good night sleep.
That means a set, quiet and calm routine every night
for your child, which might include dinner, bath, brush teeth,
read a short book, kiss and lights off.
2. Your child may wake during the night, but
this can be helped by using this routine, and
mixed with a minimal response. For example,
if your child wakes, you or your partner can
go into the room, give your child a gentle pat on the back
repeating your own “frequently used goodnight phrase”,
and then promptly leave.
This may take a few nights to work, but it is well worth it.
For a closer look at sleep and strategies view
this link ‘Putting them to Sleep’ eBook and order your copy now.
This information is also available on CD from the link below.
‘Putting them to Sleep’ CD
3. When you have no family support,
it is important to establish a network
of supports where you live, this might include
members of your playgroup and close friends.
You may be able to start up a babysitting club
so that you have some regular and trustworthy babysitters, for no cost.
4. It is vital that you and your partner look after
your own health by having some time out, and
together as a couple. A regular, reliable babysitter
is so important when extended family is not available.
5. Even though you are busy with full time work,
it is really helpful if you can have some time out
for yourself to relax and de-stress. You might do this
by pampering yourself or going for a nice walk, or chatting to a friend.
6. Delegate, make sure that you are sharing
the housework and childcare with your partner.
If anyone offers help, try to accept it!
7. Try to organise bags and belongings for
childcare the night before. It’s always a good idea
to have some cooked meals in the freezer for when
you are too tired to cook. Try and cook double portions,
so you can freeze and use another night! It is important
to eat well and not rely on takeaways that are often
laced with preservatives and other chemicals.
If you feel you are in need of some help contact
Lisa Lindley
Psychologist
on 0417540820 or email
lisa.lindley@optusnet.com.au
Phone consultations are available if you are unable to travel to the Sunshine Coast, Queensland, Australia.
For any individual consultation, if you have a GP referral for a mental health care plan, you are eligible for a Medicare rebate for up to 12 sessions per year.
