Why Children are Labelled Naughty!

March 21, 2009 Parenting 1 Comment

By Kim patrick; a single mum with four children who lives on the Sunshine Coast, Queensland, Australia.

 
I have four children and as such find that there is always someone being naughty. I have been trying to figure out what makes my kids tick and what makes them misbehave. I have noticed that the times that I am busiest at work seem to be when my kids muck up the most. It can be very annoying because I am a working mum and sometimes I just need to keep working at home as well.

What I have decided is that at times when my life seems busiest, those are the times that I most need to spend one on one time with my kids. Now I know this sounds crazy to do it when you are busiest. But I have discovered that if I don’t, I just bring more trouble into the house.

Kids crave attention and if they don’t get it in a good way you can be sure that they will do something naughty to get it in a bad way. I can remember when my son David had just turned three years old. I had just had my third baby. He was new born and I also had a 22 month old. I was pretty busy with three youngsters in the house.

Well obviously David didn’t feel that he was getting the attention that he needed. So one day he went into my cupboard and peed all over my dresses! He didn’t have the skills to understand what he was feeling and express himself to me properly. He just knew that he was feeling left out. So he did something to get my attention. Boy, did it get my attention. This was a long time ago and because I didn’t know any different then, I smacked David for it.

The wise parent would understand that this is a completely normal reaction from a three year old who isn’t getting enough attention. I have learned a lot since that episode. It is our responsibility as parents to figure out what is the cause of our child’s misbehaviour. If you think long and hard you can generally come up with an underlying reason for most forms of naughtiness.

For me, one of the most helpful things is to just talk with my children regularly, not even at times that they are being naughty. Communicating with your child will help you know if they are experiencing problems at school or if anything in particular is bothering them.

My children have lots of sibling rivalry issues as there are four of them. So I take them every few months to talk to a Counsellor at Lifeline, whether they think they need it or not. It is good for them to hear stuff from another adult that is not their parent. It also gives them an opportunity to bring up things for discussion that I may have overlooked.

Children are naughty for a reason. Fix the reason behind the naughty behavior and you will stop the bad behaviour.

Her eBook on child behaviour management can be found on her web site http://www.mychildcanbehave.com 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Growth Spurts

March 19, 2009 Baby behaviour, Sleep and Settling No Comments

I thought I had the professional knowledge to successfully birth and raise my own babies. After all, I had been a Registered Nurse for 6 years and a Midwife for 2 years and had experience working with families in remote areas of Australia.

I was waiting to meet our first born face to face but after several speed boat rides, long walks, intercourse, castor oil and hot curries it lead me to believe that babies will come when they are ready! 

At 8.30pm our baby boy arrived. What a truly amazing moment when you meet a brand new life that you created face to face for the first time. This was a new human being so beautifully and wonderfully made and entrusted in our care but what now!!

My husband and I thought we were doing well in our role of new parents as I had learnt how to successfully breast feed every 3 hours (from the start of one feed to the start of the next) and settle my baby to sleep about an hour and a quarter after every feed during the day. At about 2- 3 weeks everything went pear shape. Ben started to cry a lot and he wanted to feed constantly. I felt terrible and that it was my fault that I couldn’t stop him crying or even work out why he was crying. I wondered if I was doing something wrong and whether my milk had dried up or perhaps he was sick or constipated. I now know that he was experiencing a growth spurt.

It is during a growth spurt that a baby will display unsettled, hungry, windy and wakeful behaviour. If you give them extra breastfeeds or make up an extra amount in each bottle (if you are already bottle feeding) and use extra settling techniques when they are awake and be patient, this behaviour will usually settle in 1-2 days.

Growth spurts in a young baby are expected to occur at 3days, 7days, 2-3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months and 6 months of age.

During these unsettled times try not to cram too many outings or visitors into your day. Expect to be breast feeding more frequently and use a variety of methods to try and settle them. You will not spoil them! This period will pass in about 24 – 48 hours. You will know it has passed as your baby will appear more alert and responsive as well as sleeping for longer stretches. However, if this is not the case and their unsettledness continues, have your baby checked by your GP or Child Health Nurse for other causes.

You can discover more about what I have learnt over the years both professionally and personally in downloadable eBook format or through Face to Face or eClinic  consultations.

Visit http://www.settlepetal.com for more details (conditions apply)